You can spot them everywhere, from subway stations, to public parks; from shopping arcades to busy restaurants and even in far-off holiday destinations. There is a distinctly visible trend in big cities, where a young woman in her late 20s or early 30s is often seen in the company of her mother, doing things with her. Isn’t this a little surprising given that we are made to believe that China’s 80s generation (which is now in its 20s and early 30s) is a pampered lot and more self-centered than any generation before them; And also that this generation does not understand their parents and considers them totally out of sync with today’s world!
If this how the 80s generation is, then how do we explain this intergenerational intimacy and companionship that they are discovering with their parents, and especially girls with their mothers?
All that has been said about the 80s generation and its self-obsession is true, just the way it is also true that 80s generation is not a teenager any longer. Those among them, who were born in early 80s, are young adults now and entering a new phase of their life, both personally and professionally. Personally, they are getting into or feling the need for a long-term relationship and professionally they are looking at building a career, which is different from just doing a job.
In China, 三十而立 (san shi er li or the 30s) is considered to be one of the toughest points of transition in a person’s life. This transitory phase forces them to think both personal and professional choices from a long-term perspective. But the need for transition from a job to a career and from a romantic relationship into long-term commitment is not coming out to be the smoothest. What makes this transition especially tough for this generation? After all many before them have passed through this stage.
The 80s generation is a high-expectation generation. They have high expectations from almost everything that they engage in. At work, they have high expectations about monetary compensation, growth and attention from superiors and peer group; in everyday life they have high expectations from the life partner and friends. These high expectations are a result of the life that their parents made them used to as they pampered them extensively during their formative years.
In most cases parents of this 80s generation belong to the 50s and early 60s generation. These parents have come from poorer backgrounds with families characterized by many kids. (More than 30% of parents of 60s generation on an average had 5 to 6 siblings in their childhood1). As a result the spotlight was not on a single child. Everyone had to find his or her own way and struggle as they became independent. When these children became parents, they took extra care to ensure that their only child does not have to struggle like they did.
This extra care, pampering and protection has lead to 80s generations developing a fragile and inward-looking personality. They find it difficult to forge new relationships and are always looking out to get rather than give.
As this generation moves into their late 20s and early 30s they exit the comfort zone that their parents created for them. The transition exposes them to a world that challenges their high expectations. At work, a highly competitive environment requires them to work hard before they can earn the right to expect, and in personal relationships, the significant other, who is usually from the same generation is also expecting to get rather than give. Both ways the realization begins to dawn upon them, that they are not the center of the world. Given all this, it is not surprising that a large proportion of those who are from the 80s generation, have turbulent marriages, disenchantment with work and change jobs frequently.
Turbulent Marriages: The extra pampering and protection that this generation has received from their parents, has lead to slower and delayed maturing of their personalities. This becomes more pronounced in their married life. Marriage requires forgiveness, understanding, tolerance and compromise – but these are not the traits that this generation is best known for. Poxi guanxi (婆媳关系)viz relationship with in-laws and forging new bonds after marriage, becomes increasingly challenging when both partners are expecting from each other but unable to give as much. Many experts working in marital counseling, blame the lack of responsibility shown by the spoiled one-child generation as the reason for the many broken marriages. As a result today, one out of every five marriages in China ends in a divorce. This rate is double of what it was a decade ago and Beijing tops the charts with the highest divorce rate nationwide with 39% of all marriages in the city ending in a split! More importantly divorce rate among those under-30s has doubled annually over the past five years, and 97 percent of these couples are from single child families!
Disenchantment at Work: Disillusionment at work among younger employees is a rising concern for the human resource teams in many organizations. Companies are facing challenges in employee retention and overall morale. A recent survey shows that, as much as 80% of employees with 3-5 years of experience have switched jobs aggressively. Most of these are from the 80s generation. In some cases such switching of jobs has tripled organizational employee turnover rates to as high as 45.7%. 2
Shattered hopes and the resulting emotional crisis due to unmet expectations both at work and from the life-partner make this generation realize the ‘cruelty’ of real world outside the fort of parental protection. This personal emotional crisis prompts them to look for a support system, as they look for someone who can reassure them about themselves and provide emotional refuge from the stark realities of the adult world.
For all such emotional crises, there usually are three pressure valves in almost all the societies. 1. Friends, who reassure 2. Hobbies, those provide a new way to invest and engage the mind and emotions and, 3. A Religion or Belief that soothes and gives inner peace.
Friends, who are the most obvious support system, while is strong but is not the most preferred escape route. This is mainly because some friends move on, others might have successful marriages and work situations and could thus make one feel more miserable instead of giving reassurance.
Hobbies that help a person to engage in something beyond work are a definite route to greater happiness and confidence. Yet most of the young adults in China, while they are trying many new things are still not sure about their real hobbies and interests. It is worth mentioning that while most of the societies in the world have something that they are known to be passionate about, it is difficult to answer the same question for most of the Chinese.
Belief, be it religious or philosophical, is another way of soothing the anxiety within. In many societies this role is played by religion. In China, a mix of Confucian, Taoist and Buddhist philosophies together play this role. Yet the reality remains that most of the 80s generation is way too disconnected from their philosophical roots. Most of the time it is competition through consumption that dominates confidence through contemplation and reflection. Consumption as a way of making oneself aware of one’s existence wields additional pressure on the individual, as one tends to measure success by visible symbols of prosperity. It is noteworthy that according to a recent news report, a Chinese professor in Beijing was quoted as telling his students “if you cannot make RMB 40 million by the time your are 40, I would not be happy to acknowledge you as my students!”
The rise in the popularity of religion and Yoga among others is also a testimony to the fact that people are looking for a way to sooth their inner self. A visit to the Sunday mass in any city Church will reveal the large numbers of 80s generation attending it regularly.
In this wider context, 80s generation, especially women in their late 20s and early 30s, are rediscovering their parents as a source of unconditional love, affection and emotional reassurance. While they discover a new friend in their mother, their mother too has much to share as she is seeking a companion in her child. This is more so if the girl is single or separated from her husband.
But one may ask that the Chinese society and culture has always observed a sense of duty towards parents and elders in the family. What is so new about all this? What separates this newfound intergenerational intimacy from the classic filial piety?
Unlike the traditional sense of duty that drove the relationships in the past, the contemporary intimacy has a sense of mutual companionship as the driving motivation behind it.
It is also interesting to note that the intergenerational intimacy is not just a middle class phenomenon. There are many female celebrities like Fan Bin Bin and Liu Yi Fei among others, are also much closer to their parents than anyone else.
So what does all this mean for marketers and advertisers? What can we learn from this social trend in making? For starters, the decision-making especially in the purchase of consumables and apparel would be increasingly influenced by the interplay between the mother and daughter. This would be a new dimension to the hitherto unigenerational exchange between a girl and her friends or her spouse. Perhaps mothers might be able to bring in a sense of frugality to the everyday purchases but more importantly the daughter could help her mother adopt the newer and more premium lines of products. Mothers could not just use her daughter’s grooming tips but also make herself feel younger and give her an edge in her own circle of other senior women.
Needless to mention there could be new gifting opportunities to both nourish and leverage this intergenerational intimacy, especially around existing occasions like Women’s Day and Mother’s Day.
As observers of society and culture and as futurists, we are always eager to predict the next big thing that is coming our way. Data about China’s demographics often tells us interesting things about the aging population, urbanization, and income gap, among others. While these realities are imminent, it remains that what is even more important than knowing what will happen is to reflect upon what would happen then. Although this essay is largely speculative for it does not yet offer extensive numerical evidence for many of the observations made here, yet it does provide a mental map to navigate the social changes of our times.
Boys and girls from single child families of yesteryears are men and women today. They are forming families and making a living as they join organizations in droves. As marketers, we need to understand their emotional experiences and resulting needs. Only then will we be able to solve their problems and serve them better. Are we listening?
Special Thanks to:
Ivy Liang Strategic Planner, Ogilvy & Mather, Guangzhou, China
Dr. Ting Wang, Lecturer - Communication Studies, School of Communication, East China Normal University, Shanghai, PRC